I’m a pregnant intern. I didn’t plan to get pregnant, in fact, I thought it was the last thing that could happen.  I’m in my 30s and hadn’t used birth control since 2016.  I figured if motherhood was in my future, it would have happened by now. So, how did I become pregnant?  Well around 5 months ago, a month into my Hispanic Access internship, I started to feel a little different.  It was a whole week before I was supposed to get my period, but I decided to take a pregnancy test anyway, to rule it out. I saw a faint pink shadow of a line on the test.  It looked like a mirage.  I googled it and it’s called an evaporation line. Which meant I’m most likely pregnant. I have no chill, so I bought 5 more tests, and took one every day.  Every day the line got darker. All 6 tests were positive.  It was official.  I’m pregnant. That first week, I was over the moon with happiness.  I can be a mother.  I can have a baby and family.

Then the dread set in. 

I started to judge myself for being pregnant without job or relationship stability.   Too many questions were swirling in my head. Will my parents, friends, and job accept me?  Who should I tell?  I felt so vulnerable.  What I needed most was support, and I felt uncertain if I would get it.

Thank goodness I didn’t hold on to those feelings.

I confided to my close friends first.  They were 100 percent supportive of my decision to keep the baby.  Then I told my family.  They were over the moon happy for me.  My sister said, Finally! I didn’t know if you would ever give us babies!  Then after 3 months I told my employer.  I told my boss’s boss first.  I didn’t plan to tell her first, but like my pregnancy it just happened.  We scheduled a networking call to discuss my future career plans after the internship. She asked me where I wanted to live and work.  I told her maybe the first year I’d like to work virtually and stay in Texas.  She asked me why?  I told her because of family.  She asked me 3 more times if there was anything else that could factor into my future career decisions? If there was anything else I was not telling her?  My heart started racing. I felt like she knew.  So, I broke down and told her.  Yes, there is something else.  I’m pregnant.

She accepted the news joyfully.  And I knew after seeing her reaction that it was ok.

I was going to be ok. 

I could make it work.

I have all the love and support I need for me and the baby.

I’m excited for this new chapter in my life and can’t wait to build my career and family together!

Agency: U.S Forest Service

Program: Resource Assistant Program (RAP)

Location: USFS Headquarters, Washington Office